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Create trust, honesty and open communication in any relationship...
"The Un-Matched Success of the Magic Read why 50 to 75 people are taking this new relationship survey every day...
The survey itself has become very popular, with 50 to 75 people taking it every day. I can only attribute this level of success to the quality of the instrument – and the fact that it meets a need for our clients. The survey is totally anonymous… people don’t have to put in a name at all if they’d rather not (although, without a name… any name… and a valid email address, we can’t get their results to them). The email that we send to the individual’s email address does contain their private responses. But the ‘results page’ that they are lead to through this email is an aggregate of all responses we’ve received without any identification of individuals. This ‘results page’ is the real eye-opener for our clients. It’s amazing how many people struggle through their relationships thinking they’re the only people struggling with their particular issue. This problem with misunderstanding the true nature of relationships in general comes from our cultural propensity to hide our problems. Hiding your issues IS a good thing at times -- no employer wants you bringing your problems to work. And a casual acquaintance who is suddenly confronted with your relationship problems will probably slink away before they get caught up in a mess. So we tend to just hide our problems… except from our very best, closest friends. But that’s only – how many? – three people? 10? That’s still not a very good sampling of the population at large. And so your average Joe or Jane doesn’t really have a very good idea of what issues, if any, others are facing in their relationships. So, when people take the MagicRelationship.com Survey, they LOVE to see how others, in all honesty, are doing in their relationships. The fact that this survey is done over the computer instead of in a face-to-face interview is another factor contributing to its high success. In face-to-face interviews, people are known to modify their response to match what they think will be most appropriate. They will modify for appropriateness even more when asked in front of their peers. So group discussions are very ‘iffy’ for accuracy. But home, alone, in front of the computer, after the kids have gone to bed and their partner is faking sleep in the other room (to avoid talking)… then they’ve got the freedom to say what’s really on their mind. And so our clients experience a sort of cathartic release in merely answering the 9 questions on this survey. They finally have expressed what’s alive for them… and they’ve been ‘heard’… even though most people are surprised that I’m actually reading their responses and that I’m actually a real, 46 year old ex-high school English teacher in Colorado. And what about accuracy? There has always been a lot of question around the accuracy or validity of reported emotions. We’re asking people to tell us how they feel about their relationship, and what they would like to have for their relationship – what they value in relationships. But I would argue that feelings, emotions, are the only thing that we’ll ever know for sure. Do we really know the external world around us? Have you seen the myriad of metaphysical documentaries coming out lately? “What the Bleep Do We Know?” Epistemologically speaking, we know that reality is subjective… not objective. We can’t know how another person experiences the world. But what we CAN know is how we, ourselves, experience the world. And that experience is our emotions. Nobody can tell you how you feel. If you’re sad, you’re sad. They can try, like my mom always did, to tell me I shouldn’t be sad… but you know how effective that is…. not! So self-reporting our own emotions on a survey is very accurate… so long as the individual is not in denial. In which case, we’ve only got a report of what they think that their emotions ought to be. But even that is a place from which to begin. Finally, taking the MagicRelationship.com survey will clarify for the individual just what they ARE feeling about and ARE wanting from their relationship. So many people never really sit down think through their feelings or their needs for a given situation… This survey, if it does nothing else, creates the opportunity for the individual to more clearly define what they’re feeling and needing. After all, “A problem clearly defined is a problem half-solved.” If you’ve not had the opportunity to take this
survey yet, go to
http://www.magicrelationship.com/survey/survey . |
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