The Final Frontier is not discovering planets at the far end of the universe; it's making sure we don't kill each other on the way there...

Communication is the most challenging, frustrating, and confusing thing most of us will ever do. Ask any person who is raising a teenager, dealing with a demanding boss, placating crazy customers and who, at the end of the day, is trying to be sane and loving... Ha!

But at the same time, when it works, when you really connect and create a new level of compassion and understanding with someone you love, it can be the most rewarding, heart-opening, make-your-life-worth-living experience you ever had.

I was once told that the natural outcome of most communication... sadly... is misunderstanding, and, after twenty years of studying the field, I think this is more fact than fiction.

Have I cheered you up yet? If you are raising kids, or have gone through a divorce or even just have parents, I probably don't need to remind you that to create the relationship of your dreams you need every possible skill, tip, tool and technique available. I wish someone had taught me about these mistakes years and heartbreaks ago, but...

I have discovered most of the following
mistakes the hard way... by making them...

And I didn't just make them once, but over and over and over and... well, you get the point.  Sometimes it can take a while to see what's right in front of you.

As you read and begin to practice the skills in this report, you will most likely go through three phases.... The first one is the ‘aha' or enlightenment phase, and this is where you go...

“Damn, why didn't I think of that? This is so simple, and so obvious!”

The next phase, phase 2, is the grief and disappointment phase .  “If I only I'd learned this earlier it would have saved me from so much heartbreak, confusion, frustration and disappointment.”

I was teaching these tools to a group of maximum security inmates last year and after the second day, as one of them was leaving, he stopped and looked back over his shoulder and told me, “If I had only learned this in school, I wouldn't have spent 18 years of my life in prison.” Ouch...

And lastly, phase 3, is the fun phase.  You'll be able to avoid all sorts of upsets and arguments. You'll see where conversations are headed before it's too late. You will also learn to listen, so that others will want to open up and communicate honestly.

So read this carefully – it's your valuable and precious guide to more intimacy, heart-felt connection and understanding in all of your relationships... Then read it again and again.  Highlight it, make footnotes and most importantly... practice, practice, practice.

Here we go....

The first heart-breaking mistake is...

Building a Case against somebody, gathering evidence and showing examples. We think that if we just prove our point, show them how smart and right we are, just build up enough evidence about our side… then they will surely see our wisdom and embrace us in awe of our insight. 

A wise teacher and friend of mine always asks people who are behaving like this, "How's that working for you?"  Well, it doesn't work.  It never has worked, and it never will work.

In reality, building a case against somebody will only make them more distant .  A lot of people will try to show the other person how they are wrong or how w hat they did was bad.  we effectively undermine their self esteem.  And  then we wonder why they're trying to run away from us! 

So, what's the alternative?  At our Magic Relationship Seminar we teach you a 4 step method (called The Language of Peace) that helps you to speak compassionately -- building a connection instead of a case.

Learn how to relate to the other person's feelings and needs through a series of questions.  When you are sure the other person feels connected--feels that they have been heard and are respected for their feelings, thoughts and needs-- THEN you can offer some advice or education.  (And even then it might be a dicey proposition.)

So, the first question to ask yourself before you start to speak is, “Do I want to build a case against them , or do I want to build a connection with them ?”  And then your intent, along with the four steps of the Language of Peace, will guide you in building the connection you want.

Avoiding this one mistake is the most important in keeping my relationship with my beloved as close and intimate as it is.

There are more mistakes than just these 5 in our Special Report that people make in their everyday communication.  But you will be amazed how much of a difference understanding and avoiding these 5 will make your life easier. 

Please look for the next 4 mistakes in your email inbox over the next couple of weeks. 

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