Resources for The Magic Relationship Method

Feelings When Your Needs ARE Being Met

Feelings When your Needs Are NOT Being Met

Feelings When Your Needs ARE Being Met...

The Magic Relationship Method, a simple 3 part process for expressing yourself, is based on the idea that all emotions are caused by a person's needs either being met or not being met. If we are hungry, we become cranky. If our need for love is being met, we feel content and happy. When our need for cooperation is not being met, we feel frustration and anger. Look at the list below. What are you feeling?

AFFECTIONATE
compassionate
friendly
loving
open-hearted
sympathetic

CONFIDENT
empowered
open
proud
safe
secure

ENGAGED
alert
curious
entranced
fascinated
involved
stimulated

INSPIRED
amazed
awed
wonder

EXCITED
amazed
animated
eager
enthusiastic
lively
surprised

EXHILARATED
blissful
ecstatic
elated
radiant
thrilled

GRATEFUL
appreciative
moved
thankful
touched

HOPEFUL
expectant
encouraged
optimistic

JOYFUL
amused
delighted
glad
happy
jubilant
pleased

PEACEFUL
calm
clear
headed
mellow
quiet
satisfied
trusting

REFRESHED
enlivened
rejuvenated
renewed
rested
revived

This list created by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's organization, CNVC:

Feelings When Your Needs are NOT Being Met...

AFRAID
apprehensive
frightened
panicked
scared
suspicious
worried

ANNOYED
aggravated
dismayed
displeased
exasperated
frustrated
impatient

ANGRY
enraged
furious
irate
outraged
resentful

AVERSION
disgusted
dislike
hate
horrified
hostile
repulsed

CONFUSED
ambivalent
baffled
bewildered
hesitant
lost
puzzled

DISCONNECTED
alienated
bored
distant
distracted
removed
withdrawn

DISQUIET
agitated
disturbed
restless
shocked
surprised
uncomfortable

EMBARRASSED
ashamed
chagrined
flustered
guilty
mortified
self-conscious

FATIGUE
beat
exhausted
listless
sleepy
tired
weary

PAIN
devastated
heart
broken
hurt
lonely
miserable
regretful

SAD
depressed
dejected
disappointed
discouraged
gloomy
hopeless

TENSE
anxious
distressed
edgy
irritable
nervous
restless

VULNERABLE
fragile
helpless
insecure
reserved
sensitive
shaky

YEARNING
envious
jealous
longing
nostalgic
pining

This list created by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's organization, CNVC:

Needs Inventory

As stated above, emotions are caused by a person's needs either being met or not being met. If we are hungry, we become cranky. If our need for love is being met, we feel content and happy. When our need for cooperation is not being met, we feel frustration and anger. Look at the list below. Try to identify the needs that you are experiencing... and the needs that your partner may be experiencing.

CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmth

HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presence

PLAY
joy
humor

PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water

MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding

AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity

The contents of this page can be downloaded and copied by anyone so long as they credit CNVC as follows:

Paul Sterling and Kristin Denton facilitate communication skills workshops through their company, MagicRelationship.com. Paul has taught communication for governments and businesses, schools, churches and prisons for over 15 years. He trained with Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org) and is also trained in neuro-linguistic programming and neuro-associative conditioning. Kristin has taught English in the public schools and English as a Second Language specializing in workplace communication skills. She trained with the NVC Training Institute.

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